Sabbath-induced Zen

In an effort to find a better Internet connection, this post is coming to you from outdoors in the middle of the kibbutz after dark, where I have found a previously undiscovered FOUR BARS OF INTERNET CONNECTION!  Now you know where I will be for all future Skype dates.
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Growing up, Shabbos was always about going to shul (synagogue) on Saturday morning, hoping to make the minyan (quorum required for certain parts of the service), then relaxing the rest of the day while my parents took their requisite Shabbos Afternoon Naps.  When I was at camp, it was about dressing up on Friday evening, taking pictures and giving every single person on the machaneh (camp) a Shabbat Sha'hug.  It was also about singing extra loud, enjoying the extra long Shabbat menuchah (rest time), and writing a few extra letters to friends and family.

In the last few years I have gradually ratified my personal meaning of Shabbos.  I began to refuse to do school work or check my e-mail in order to better sanctify this one day of rest.  I have also started to avoid handling money or riding in cars so that I know - and everyone around me knows - that this day is important to me.

 In Israel, Shabbat has added significance: for many people, Friday afternoon through Saturday is the entirety of their weekend, which means that for some, Saturday is their only opportunity to travel, go somewhere fun, or just get away.  This explains why even though public transportation does not run on Shabbat (per Jewish Rabbinic law), there are still plenty of cars on the streets.

Last night I went to services and had dinner again at my adopted family's house.  After the other guests had left, I stayed up with my Israeli mom and found out that she actually came from a very religious family.  In fact, she's the only one of the four daughters who is not still religious.  I shouldn't say she's not religious, though.  She's just not Dati, orthodox.  She does keep Kosher, and she still has a very strong connection to G-d and her religion.  She just firmly believes that there is more than one way to be a Jew.  And I love her all the more for that.

Today I went to the morning services on the Kibbutz for the first time.  I'm sorry to say, but I don't know if I'll be going back.  I felt more like a spectator at a men's private function, allowed to sit in the back row only if I promised to be quiet (which wasn't too much of a problem since despite the fact that I know the service very well, I was lost half the time).  For the first time in my post-Bat Mitzvah life, I actually kind of wanted to leave the service early because I truly felt I wasn't getting anything out of it.

After services ended around 10:00 am, I went back to my room, grabbed a book, my crochet project, and a towel, and laid out in the sun for a few hours.  Then I made myself a quick lunch, tuned a guitar, and found the perfect place to spend the rest of my afternoon: underneath a young olive tree, surrounded by waist-high grass (or thigh-high for you tall people) and clover with yellow flowers.  With no one around, I could focus intently on the sounds of the veritable menagerie of birds hidden nearby while basking in the mottled sun peaking through the olive branches.  I read some more, serenaded myself, and possibly napped.  Or meditated, I'm not sure which.

We are told that Shabbat is a day of rest where we should not do any work.  By rabbinic standards some of my activities were, in fact, work, but quite honestly, I don't remember the last time I was this relaxed.  It was a beautiful day.

Days like this make me wonder about what all those rabbinic laws really mean, and what G-d actually intended.  There are days when I can't help but notice all the things I do that would be considered a breach of the Sabbath in a more religious home.  Then there are days like today when I am fully immersed in nature and Creation and I am, for a moment, convinced that this is what is meant when we are told to "keep the Sabbath holy."

I suspect that with each week, month, and year that passes, my interpretation of Shabbat will change to fit ever-changing circumstances.  I hope that I am open to that change and am always able to come away from my Sabbaths feeling energized and refreshed for the week to come.